Thursday, April 1, 2010

When Your Friends Are Sick Of You

It's interesting the things that strain a friendship. A lack of things in common dooms things from the start. Shakespeare advised that one should neither a lender nor a borrower be, and money is oft at the heart of discord. Should one friend be overly needy, that can be an issue. That's just one way in which friendship can be harmed by one overlooking the interests of the other. In short, there are plenty of reasons why friends might arrive at loggerheads. To me, one of the most interesting is illness.

People loathe getting sick. The child is content with any excuse to stay home from school, as he is most commonly secure in the knowledge that the parent will see to his health and financial standing as always. The adult has no such assurances, and avoids disease like the plague, so to speak. That means avoiding the diseased. If I saved one of my closest friends from an assassin's bullet and appeared the next day red-faced, sneezing and coughing, I would read in that person's face not gratitude or admiration, but frantic worry and terror. Should I then fail to shrink away, I would then be resented for jeopardizing that person's life and well-being.

This is all the stock and trade of some subsets of the horror film genre, really. Simply replace 'Zombie Fever' with 'Common Cold', and you have a very grounded, relatable entry. At the very least, it would make for a most entertaining comedic short. One would be understating only a little bit the fear instilled in those around you by the specter of such a brief, mildly life-changing affliction. Being even mildly unwell brings into sharp relief which are the truest of one's friends. One might ask, "When I'm in need, who will check in on me? Who will bring to me the means of getting better, and who will ease my mind with a reassuring bedside manner? Who will avoid contact until I can be to them again what I ordinarily am?"

To some extent I understand and share the feelings of those who look out for themselves first and foremost when ill health is about. I would certainly be apprehensive about my own flesh and blood if one of that number should approach me while hacking into a crimson-stained napkin. I'm more lenient when the situation calls for it, but am sympathetic to those who are not. It's just a curious matter to see the ordinarily unseen conditions which govern relationships.

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