Wardrobe

A personal failing I'm sure I've discussed before is a hopeless ineptitude in the laundry room. As a result, when I dress myself in the morning (ideally), I have a limited supply of almost everything to draw from. Consequently, I think hard and often about what I have, what I need and what it's all about. I'll omit the cursing and gnashing of teeth that usually accompany such ruminations.

The place where I'm in the best shape is no slam dunk, but probably is shirts. This is because shirts are the easiest thing to identify in my size. I don't need to do so much as try them on. I simply check the tag for an M (or an L in a pinch), and if I find what I'm looking for there, I take the shirt to the register and get out of there. I have a good selection of t-shirts in spite of the abnormal rate at which I ruin them with food stains and physical mishaps. I'm a bit light on nice, dressy shirts, but have few occasions to wear them.

After that, I'd say I'm best supplied with socks and undergarments. I'd rather not speak of the latter. The socks present the problem of needing to be matched. I don't really bother to do that until I need a pair of socks. After they've all been washed, I start off by wearing the ones most easily identified at a glance. I work my way down in terms of difficulty matching, hopefully getting through to my next wash without getting to the ones I really have to work at pairing up. Of course, in that worst-case scenario, I just grab two socks from the box and put on long pants regardless of the weather. It's just best if I don't have to.

Pants are the real problem. Each brand of jeans, slacks or shorts comes in its own size, and figuring it wrong is not tolerable. That means that I have to go through the onerous ordeal of trying them on until I get a pair of pants I like in a comfortable size. It takes numerous near-misses at clothing stores before I come away with anything. My terrible secret is that I'm a man who hates shopping, and so without a mother around to prod me, new pants acquisition is just not terribly likely to happen. It should be no surprise that all my best stuff came from forced shopping trips with female blood relatives.

I've made great progress in a lot of areas, so while I have gotten nowhere with this, that's no reason to think I never will. I hold out hope that some day, as an old man, I will take pleasure in being careful with the clothes I have and selecting well-fitting, fashionable clothes to make up for inevitable losses. It may happen a bit sooner with the love and understanding of a good woman, but I am not counting on that.