Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Slaking Point

They say that if you put a lobster in a cold pot of water and gradually turn up the heat to boiling, he will never notice and consequently never make a fuss, whereas if you plop him into boiling water to begin with, he would scramble madly in a desperate bid to save his life. The point is that things that happen so gradually are hard to track by feel, and so are quite dangerous. Getting drunk is like that, and so I find the practice worth contemplation.

It's interesting when, during a night of drinking, you realize that a friend has gotten to the point of real intoxication.  The process for them is gradual, happening drink by drink. For me the realization is quite sudden. For a long time, they just seem happy and exuberant. Suddenly it is apparent that it's not just that. It may be so that I would be able to follow the progress of alcohol's effects if I kept my eye on a particular person without wavering, but it's a party and my focus is flighty at best...

In general the drunk's ordinary inhibitions are relaxed severely and their general acuity is diminished, but I believe that for each person there are different indicators. You might expect them to be flushed, loud and excited, but that largely describes me at times when I am most sober. Others conceal their intoxication very well in my experience. I simply would not know unless they told me. To be able to harness that would undoubtedly be rather lucrative.

Obviously determining when someone is drunk is not merely of academic interest, although this may have once been the case for me. I have found myself, long having overcome the effects of my drinking, trying to get advice from a friend on matters of the heart. When said advice consisted of several aggressive, nonsensical non sequiturs, I realized that my interlocutor was drunk. Needless to say, I broke off the heart to heart and rejected all 'advice' received to that point.

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What say you, netizen?