Bathroom Humors

Today is the end of an era here at my apartment, as the management came and took away our toilet. In its place (as they were good enough to not leave us bereft of the means to evacuate filth) is a new low-flow toilet. I am ordinarily excited to receive new, more functional things, but in this case it is difficult to be enthused. The salient improvement that this toilet represents over the old one is that it uses less water, and our water is provided free of charge by the management. I suspect they are very excited about these toilets.

I still do like new things, particularly when they are so pristine. I examined the toilet thoroughly enough, examining the lid's range of motion, the interior of the bowl and the contents of the water tank. It all looks to be in fine shape, but there is nothing in it that is very new conceptually. I have seen toilets of more bewilderingly sophisticated modernity. The toilet does, I'll say, seem to occupy less space, if that's a good thing.

I was reluctant to taint the toilet through necessarily disgusting use, but it was an inevitability, so I resigned myself to it. I gather I must have been the first (before the lone roommate who shares it) to use the thing, as there were little styrofoam cushions under the lid. Apparently they were intended to protect the lid and opposing surface from damaging impacts, but I don't see the sense in that. Why shield something for as brief a period as a few minutes or hours when said protection cannot last forever?

The novelty of this toilet is not quite through. I imagine that each use will be an "event" for a little big, much in the same way that one gets excited about eating if the food to be eaten is new or of unusually high quality. Probably this honeymoon phase will end with the toilet becoming diminished in my eyes on account of some perceived damage. Usually that's the case. For this, I don't think I will weep too much when that happens.